NHL Weekend Rankings: Top 16 at the end of the season, plus Gold Plan standings and more

We did it. After 82 games and 26 weeks in the standings, we’ve come to the only part of the NHL season that really matters. Qualifiers here. Half of the league is already miserable, and now we find out which 15 of the remaining 16 teams will join them.

But first, the last weekend ranking. This comes with some ups and downs, and we’ll get to them in a minute. It also comes with my last five best bonuses, as i will make a few more predictions, just to make sure my supplement choices are seriously wrong.

The top five highly specific reward expectations

5. The Kings kicked the Oilers out in Game 1 – One of those fun prizes is everyone’s favorite game that lays an egg in the opening game, sending waves of panic and over-analysis. It’s almost too obvious that the Hurricanes picked that spot given the Ilya Sorokin factor, so let’s go with Edmonton.

4. We get triple the extra time on the Kraken/Avs chain – No one seems to think the Kraken can win, but that doesn’t mean they can’t make it fun.

3. Leafs / Lightning short series – A good rule of thumb is that when everyone’s on the same page, we’re all wrong. We’ve already fast-forwarded to the inevitable Game 7 in this game, which means it’s going to be a letdown. I see a team lead 2-1 through three, we all nod wisely and say “there’s still a long way to go on this team,” and then it’s done with five.

2. The Devils and Rangers are going to the game 7 OT – I guarantee it.

1. In the biggest shocker of the year, Boston lost in the first round – As in, they lose once, and win the series in five. Look, I like to think outside the box, but I’m not crazy.

Moving on to this week’s top five, which will actually be the top 16 teams. Yes, we do each playoff team, from least to most likely to win the cup. Prepare to get your feelings hurt.

The way to the cup

the five 16 teams have the best chances of winning the Stanley Cup.

Two sentences for each team. This rule also applies to this introduction.

16- Seattle Kraken- The season was a great story. Let’s focus on that instead of the next survey.

15. Los Angeles Kings – This says more about my feelings for the Oilers than the Kings, a very good team that draws a brutal game. Embrace the “Nobody Believes in Us” story, royalty fans, and be nice to this East Coast-dwelling jerk when you shut up Connor McDavid and his friends.

14. Winnipeg Jets- It’s going to be a long climb, they all seem to hate each other, and they’ll have to avoid any “happy-there-there” feelings after their late-season bubble battle. However, with Conor Hellboyk as one of only two true goaltenders in the conference, they at least got a chance to bat.

13. New York Islanders – We’re all over simplifying when we make it seem like this team’s entire hope rests on a fiery goalkeeper. But also, I don’t hate the prospect of their guard getting heat.

12- Florida Panthers- Watch this first move, it’s a whirlpool. But if the Panthers can somehow beat the Bruins, which is unlikely but not impossible, they’ll suddenly feel like a surprisingly reasonable contender, right?

11. Minnesota Wild – For as long as they run, they’ll be a little underdog in every series, but they’ll also get the nagging feeling that they’re going to win in six. Also, Norm Greene sucks.

10. Toronto Maple Leafs – I’m going to be accused of doing countersense here, but it’s more clear than that – they have to get through Andrei Vasilevskiy and the Lightning to face the best regular season team ever, and they do it through Ilya Samsonov. It’s a must spring, and you can absolutely see the “finally killing the dragon” momentum boost from a first round win, but I’m a little surprised at how little I’ve felt this year.

9. Tampa Bay Lightning – Ignore the past few weeks of slow results. This is a team that only cares about the playoffs, and I’m surprised how many people are writing them off.

8. Dallas Stars – The gap between facing a wild or a kraken was huge. However, they still have goalkeeping and a difficult but not impossible path to reach the final.

7. Vegas Golden Knights – Dom freaked me out a bit when Dom picked the Jets as a minor favourite, as he does the goaltender here. They are definitely the weakest of the class winners, but they are We are Section winners.

6- New Jersey Devils- Yes, behind the Rangers. The goaltending gap in that series is just too big for me, and while the Devils’ return to the lead is pretty cool, they feel like they’re still a year away from real contention.

5- New York Rangers- Yes, before the demons. And also in the top five for the first time all year.

4. Carolina Hurricanes – I’m more nervous about their ranking here than I should be, given that they’ve finished with the second-best record in the league and will get on the ice for at least the first two rounds. Injuries worry me a bit; Ilya Sorokin worries me very much.

3. Colorado Avalanche – I’ve supported them all year and I’m not going to stop now. But Gabriel Landeskog news is big, and I think they may be heading into a conference finals rematch that they just won’t be able to win.

2. Edmonton Oilers – McDavid seemed unstoppable, Mattias Ekholm was the home-swinger to a deadline, Stuart Skinner was good enough and tired jokes aside, this wasn’t a one- or two-man team all year. Even without home ice after the first round, I really think this could be their time.

1. Boston Bruins – No suspense, no surprises. Anything can happen in the playoffs, including amazing first-round matches for historically great teams, but we don’t need to think about it — the Bruins have earned every ounce of their favorites status.

By the way, consider this fair warning: don’t be shocked when none of the parentheses or prediction lists you see from me match these labels. The list above is what my head says, based on analysis and objectivity. But I reserve the right to go along with my gut on any specific prediction, including the occasional surprising choice to try and make me sound smart. It’s just way more fun that way.

The bottom five

The five teams that are dying last, and the best lottery odds for Conor Bedard.

This is the other section that got a revamp at the end of the season. All year long, we’ve been trying to figure out which team will end up at the bottom of the standings, and unlike the top five, we already know the answer. Congratulations(?) to the Ducks, who earned accolades on the strength of a season-ending 13-game losing streak before promptly firing their coach. In the transportation business, we call that an exclamation point.

I’ve had ducks in first place this year, though only three times and all in the first half. The sequence that turned out to be correct—Anaheim, Columbus, Chicago, San Jose, and Montreal—hasn’t been shown here all year. What can I say, the Ducks aren’t the only bad guys in this hockey game.

Instead of a regular bottom five, let’s use this space to explore an alternate universe where the NHL uses a system that’s better than the current tank-a-thon. First, the Gold Plan, is where teams start Earn points toward the top check On the day they were eliminated from the playoff. With the obvious caveat that we can’t know for sure because one of the advantages of this (much better) system is that it changes incentives and encourages teams to win more matches, here’s what the gold standings would have looked like based on the results we had this year:

In the realm of the Golden Plan, the Blue Jackets’ overtime win over the Penguins was a franchise-changing victory that their fans will forever celebrate rather than upset. Teams that fought to the end, like Vancouver and Ottawa, will benefit rather than be punished, while the Falcons and Ducks will no longer be rewarded for pulling the chutes weeks earlier. And Detroit still gets screwed, because even in the multiverse system, some things never change.

Let’s do another one. A few weeks ago, I proposed a system in which non-playoff teams would draft a playoff partner, with the first team choosing whichever team to choose as the eventual cup winner. You all seem to like it, and rightfully so, because it’s awesome. We can’t know who will choose who, of course, but let’s assume everyone has followed the expectations of Dom’s model. If so, here’s how the pairs came to be.

You can argue with the Dom roster, but that’s half the point – we’ll have a lot of fun arguing about the order in which the teams are picked. Columbus’s debate between Colorado and Edmonton would be great, Ducks fans get to reunite with Hampus Lindholm, quarterbacks swallow their pride for taking the hated Hurricanes, Kings fans get mad about how far they’ve fallen, and we’d all make fun of the Sharks for taking the Leafs. Also, how pumped will Sens fans root for against Leafs more than usual?

But the current system is also great. It’s really fun to hope your team loses for months, we all love that, no need to change anything.

One last thing: With the season winding down, we’re getting some clarity on the prediction contest. My condolences to the 137 of you who saw your entries fall apart when Mitch Marner or Jack Hughes stopped at 99 points. We still have a lot of time to complete before we can announce a winner, but you can check how your entry is doing this site.

And with that, it’s a brief one in another season of weekend ratings. Thanks again to everyone who has read along, rolled their eyes at my choices, demanded more (or less) respect for their team and discussed it all in the comments section. We’ll plan to do it again next season. Until then, I promise you, your favorite team was sixth.

(Top photo of Conor McDavid skating against the Kings: Ronald Martinez/Getty Images)